probably time to end this thing once and for all. reread and print, and start a new chapter in my life that does not require being chronicled in an online journal.

xanga has lost it's appeal. i can't believe i did it for so long. i'm glad i did, though. it's been an interesting four years. what would have become of my memories had i not had this? the convenience of using this instead of handwriting everything proved to be efficient enough as i obviously kept up with it through the college years but now i am more attracted to the idea of handwriting everything. i guess it was the vanity of it all that initially made me want to start this, but now i am so very turned off by the idea of writing down my thoughts and ideas and everything on an online journal that i can't believe i ever wanted to do it. yet another change. and maybe, in a few days, i'll have decided to keep my xanga alive, but we'll see. for now, it'll stay up until i'm done, but then, deactivation. not deletion, because when can something ever really be deleted? just because technology has begun to offer us the option of deleting things (phone numbers, friends, diary entries) doesn't mean the thing that was deleted can ever really be forgotten. sometimes the very action of deleting something can make the thing that was deleted even more ominous, which completely negates the whole reason you were deleting that thing in the first place. twisted logic, but it makes sense. at least to me.

it's so very late. or rather, it's very early. i have to be at work in a few hours and for some reason all i wanted to do was write. i'm not fully satisfied, though, because, as i said, i am exhausted with xanga. time for the black and white polka dots.

with red inside. why does that trend seem to be everywhere now that i've left it behind? i thought i was always a late bloomer, but looks like i was ahead of the times with that one. interesting.

i am happy.